Kitchens are not my strong point. Nor any activity which commences in such a place. Back to eating out.

August 25, 2012 at 6:19 pm (Uncategorized)


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Foods we’ll serve at my funeral: a list

August 25, 2012 at 11:45 am (Uncategorized)

1. Soft Pretzels and Yellow Mustard

2. RockStar Energy Drink

3. Beef Jerky

4. Steak Sandwiches: Hell Yeah, but No Cheese!

5. Rib-Eye Steak

6. Iced Tea

7. Bul Go Gi (Korean BBQ)

8. Kalbi Beef (Korean BBQ)

9. Slurpies (All Flavors, Except Blueberry)

10. Orange Juice

11. Lemon Juice

12. Vinegar

13. Cesar Salad with Croutons: Oil & Vinegar Dressing

I might need to hit a grocery store today. But, yeah, these are some of my favorite foods. List yours in the comments.

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I Love Waking Up to Really Loud LawnMowers. #PieceOfMind Just Fucking Love it.

August 25, 2012 at 9:29 am (Uncategorized)

Example: You wake up all groggy and tired. Haven’t even had Caffeine yet. Head to the computer to Read your RSS Feeds. But you gotta launch iTunes and play something to block-out the noise of the goddamned neighbors’ mowing lawns with the loudest lawn mowers ever made. It’s just a giant “hum” permeating the entire neighborhood. And these aren’t the little push kind, they are the big bad riding mowers; like the one Forest Gump drove in that movie–but larger and louder.

And the best part is, you can’t even focus on what you’re reading.

And who wears a fucking Hard Hat while riding a mower? Are you in the band “Devo”? You look like a fucking moron. And you are not going to get hurt if you fall off the thing. It only goes 5 miles per hour. You old wanker!

Jolly Fucking Day!

Another Live Version

Album Version


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I haven’t given a Shit about Video Games since I was 14. Grow the Fuck Up, People.

August 23, 2012 at 11:10 pm (Uncategorized)

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Wishing Human-Robots would STOP giving Scripted Answers that don’t apply to the situation. Talk & interact Like Humans!

August 19, 2012 at 9:05 am (Uncategorized)

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Is it Physically Possible to get any More Salt on a Pretzel. WTF? #SodiumNap

August 18, 2012 at 9:39 am (Uncategorized)

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ChainSaws must be really popular in my neighborhood.

August 18, 2012 at 9:35 am (Uncategorized)

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Olympic Physical Activity promoted Every 4 Years. Eating Cheese promoted Every Day. Priorities?

August 11, 2012 at 10:58 am (Uncategorized)

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If elected President, I will BAN LEAF BLOWERS permanently. And that Beeping Noise Trucks Make Backing Up.

August 9, 2012 at 8:45 am (Uncategorized)

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Ever Notice how “Get Well” can easily translate into “Go To Hell” ?

August 7, 2012 at 9:51 am (Uncategorized)

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